Paying the Consequences

Do you guys recall that tiny, itsy, bitsy, harmless little drinking incident that Nikki and I suffered a ways back?  I guess that either I've had a lapse of memory, or maybe just pure insanity, but I repeated my mistake.  John is sitting here as I stand and share the misery of my condition.

My bottom hurts,  Bad.  And I deserved every painful swat.

Besides the fact that I'm diabetic, and alcohol is not the wisest choice I make on those rare occasions, John has a personal issue with 'over-indulgence' and a lack of self-control when it comes to his family.  He's very protective and I terrified him when I started acting weirder than usual.  He checked my sugars and they were severely high.  It was at that point I had to confess that I not only disobeyed his limit of one glass of red wine, but I lied and overindulged with three glasses of my favorite- Ice Wine. For those of you who aren't familiar with pure ambrosia- it's a sweet, smooth desert wine that is very very concentrated and, for me, potent.

I can't remember the last time I saw my husband's face turn quite that shade of magenta.  I started praying for a miracle- like maybe a UFO would land on our property or, even better, the Lord's return... but nothing.  John was silent and pointed to the corner where I stood in dread for over an hour.  The fact it took him that long to cool off sent fear down my spine.  I was dead meat.

I expected to see a cane or a switch, but no.... just an assortment of paddles and the strap laid out neatly next to the straight back chair that sits menacingly in full view in our bedroom. John sat down and held my hands.... the poor guy looked close to tears as he started sharing with me how frightened I make him when I put myself in danger for no reason other than satisfying my rebellious nature.  He started to list off the things he would miss if I was gone from his life.  I'm not a crier.... it takes a lot to get me go beyond a couple of drips.... but I was darn close by the time I was OTK and had my bare bottom airborn.

I honestly lost all time and sense within seconds after John started spanking me.  I remember he started with his hand... as always... then progressed through the line up of implements that he intended to use to leave a final impression upon my bottom and my heart.  After at least a good ten minutes (seemed like a hour) I could not distinguish one implement from another, and I finally broke.  I'm talking breaking of the Hudson Dam and flooding the city type of flood.

John did not stop.

I have no idea how long it continued--- I was, without doubt or question, genuinely sorry for my stupid and selfish actions. The spanking stopped only when John decided that I was truly repentant.  and then he held me as I kept sobbing like a baby, rocking me and kissing my head until I calmed myself.  He had me look into his gorgeous sky blue eyes and said he loved me.  The tidal wave returned.

John is nodding in approval as he reads over my shoulder.  I can't help but smile proudly... his approval is all I need to be happy and I'm promising myself to really work on gaining more.

I Love You All-

Breanna