Ok, I don't know about the rest of you, but I tend to be a creature of habit. As my family (and my poor editor) knows, I tend accept unpleasant changes only after kicking and screaming. I do adjust.... sometimes after throwing a big tantrum. Why do I react so strongly?
I confess. I have this teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy issue.... My name is Breanna Hayse and I am a control freak. Do I hear an 'amen, sista'?
(No comments, Nikki!)
I know that I'm not as flexible as I should be when things don't go my way or as I planned. That includes my habit of trying to Top from the Bottom. My beady, little brain has a very precise agenda regarding how I should be raised, disciplined, directed and treated as a sub. My opinion, coupled with those momentary lapses of sanity, tends to erupt in verbal form and I dictate how, when and why John should 'handle' me. Add to that yet another such moment of general insanity, when I challenge him in order to see if he got the hint.
Things never work out quite the way I want it, but I keep on trying. Ahh, the definition of insanity at its best.
The question boils down to why?
Why am I never satisfied with how things are- status quo?
Why do I constantly seek new ways to stir up the pot?
Why do I have this satiable need to exceed my limits when I under stress, duress or in a state of change?
It's all about consistency.....Consistency means security- it means caring- it means stability-- it means that the time is taken to maintain a goal, even when there is a shaking in the focus. When my life is topsy turvy, or I am experiencing too many changes at once (even simple ones like when John picks up the wrong brand of toilet paper), I'll find a way to shake things up to give
John a chance to be consistent and stable. If he ignores the hint... well.... kicking and screaming.
That usually gets his attention.
I'm not saying anyone should do things this way- not at all, in fact, unless you are into carrying an extra portion of chicken tenders. No, my hope is to help us recognize the reason we act certain ways at certain times. Also, how we feel when we see the results.
Consistency- how we receive it and how we react to it, can make all the difference in the world. it's not just dealing with D&S; it's about any relationship, job, chore or interaction we encounter. your challenge... explore your own consistency or the lack of it, in your lives. How do they make you feel and how can you bring things to order?
Luvs and Kisses! Breanna