Friday, November 23, 2012

A Little Rant...

Sometimes, having an HOH or Dom is a good thing. They help make decisions and you know they are in your best interest because it is part of their responsibility to keep your interest in the forefront of their minds. That is when they are not doing things to you for their pleasure-I am talking more about doms here not hoh's. Not saying they hurt us on purpose-well actually, they do-but not really hurt. Anyway, I am getting off tract.

Bre is going through a rough patch right now and I was away all day and when I got home, she wanted to talk to me and I really wanted to talk to her. But Daddy wouldn't let us. He said she had to go to sleep. It was like, 5:00 people. I mean, yea she is emotionally drained but I just wanted to talk to my sister for a little while but could I? No,  I had to let her go to sleep. I couldn't even lay down with her. It is really difficult obeying sometimes. And I am pretty sure I may have gotten myself into a little bit of trouble but I don't care. Well, I do care but you know, I wanted to be there for her.

How do you deal with situations like this? When your HOH or Dom says you must obey but you really do not want to? It's so hard. I mean, I love him and want to be obedient but I also want what I want. Know what I mean? Such a dilemma. Anyway, just curious and would like to hear from the subbies out there. How do you deal with obeying? It's hard right?

Love, Nikki

A little amendment..... I just wanted to say that after talking to daddy ( and I am not just referring to the business end of his paddle) I understand better why he made the decision to send Bre to bed and why I should have just obeyed him. He explained how I am to trust him and he is right. I do trust him and I am sorry that I did not do as I am supposed to do as his sub. So even though I still wish he would have just let us talk like we wanted to, I understand his motives were not to be mean. So sorry Sir. I will do better in the future to obey without questioning. I love you!

Love Nikki


  1. it's not hard when your Dom does what he thinks is best for you and you agree that it's the best for you.

    and also less hard when he's not unreasonable.

    my dom would say - 5 mins but that's it. and i would ask really nicely. and say WHY i needed that time. and then i'd be awfully grateful.

  2. See, that is usually how he handles things. He will tell me I have 5 minutes or 10 minutes. A warning so at least we can wrap it up. But this time he just said NOW and that made me mad.